How to tell him I don't want the big wedding his mother planned?

You have four months until a wedding you do not want, wearing clothes you hate, to a partner who uses family reputation to override your name on the guest list. Meeting three times means you are still strangers marrying into a family machine that already treats you as a prop. When he nods and mentions his family's reputation, he is telling you clearly that his mother's plans outrank your actual presence at your own wedding. If you keep waiting for the right moment to tell him about the lehenga or the hall, November will arrive with you standing in an outfit chosen by someone else, smiling for people you have never met. You need to stop hinting and state your boundary plainly today, such as telling him that you will not wear that lehenga and you will not walk into a hall you did not agree to. The cost of speaking up now is immediate conflict, angry phone calls, and the uncomfortable realization that your fiancé may not defend you against his mother. That fight is deeply unpleasant, but it is infinitely better than starting a marriage where your silence is treated as consent. If he still hides behind his family's reputation after you draw that line, you will know exactly what the rest of your life looks like before the invitations are even mailed.