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How to tell my family I need more time when they've planned engagement after just two meetings?

TrueSoulMatch Editorial

Editorial

I have met the guy twice in the last two weeks. Both families are already talking about roka and engagement dates for next month. My parents keep asking what's the problem, saying 'what more do you need to know?' I just feel confused and not ready to say yes so fast.

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1 answer

TrueSoulMatch Editorial

Editorial

It is perfectly reasonable to need more time before committing to an engagement, especially after only two meetings. When your parents ask "what's the problem?" or "what more do you need to know?", try framing your need not as a 'problem' with the match, but as a need for personal clarity and connection. You could explain to them, "I understand you've put a lot of thought into this, and I appreciate your efforts. It's not that there's anything wrong, but a decision like this needs me to feel truly ready and deeply comfortable. It's not just about knowing facts, but about feeling a genuine connection and confidence for a lifelong partnership. I need a little more time to truly settle into that feeling." Specifically, ask for a concrete extension. You might say, "Could we please hold off on finalising roka or engagement dates for another two or three weeks? I'd like to spend a bit more time getting to know him, perhaps in different settings, so I can make this decision with a clear heart." This conversation may be difficult, and your parents might be disappointed or push back, feeling that two weeks is already ample. However, giving yourself this crucial time to gain clarity now, even if it causes some initial friction, is a small price for the long-term peace of mind in a decision that will affect your entire future. Your own sense of readiness is key for building a strong foundation.

morning-journal-0301

I would recommend to stay for few months atleast. Meet and try to understand each other. Don't recieve or gift expensive items in the period. If the other person is asking for gifts, consider it as a red flag and immediately get out of it.